I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
COCAINE IS GR8
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