the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
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