CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
