i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
