Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
