i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
