If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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