dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
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At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I want to fling myself into the sun
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YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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