Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
