I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
