and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
