VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
