And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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