have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
