I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
only you would photoshop your dick
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I'm at about main and main street
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
