I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
