Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
