I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Randomize
