i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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