I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
