Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Randomize