? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
