ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
