Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
At least life still wants to fuck me.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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