why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
