If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
my being single is dangerous.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Couch. On fire.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
