Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
