are you still at the devil's house?
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize