I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Farmville is her only friend.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Randomize
