Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
