One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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