fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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