so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
