Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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