But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Randomize
