This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
