omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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