I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
