For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize