At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Randomize
