yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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