he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
i think im in europe. pls send help
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
