So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Randomize
