Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
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