Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
