why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Randomize
