I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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