Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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