Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
