Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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