I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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