okay pat passed out under dana's car
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
