oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I could fuck to npr.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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