I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
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