he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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