Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
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