I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Alive.
So much puke
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
