So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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