Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
