He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
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