White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
