i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
She told me I should be a condom model.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
