Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
