So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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