yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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