But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
