i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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