All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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