Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
