I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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