why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
